Thursday, 27 November 2008

• What I Am Thankful For

     Grandmother,

     As I type this you are, no doubt, sleeping in your hospital bed.  I hope it doesn't hurt too much right now.  I can't tell you how much it hurt me to find out that you might not leave the hospital.  I can't tell you how much I will miss you when you're no longer here to spend time with.  I love you, Grandmother.  I guess you'll probably never read or hear this letter but I know you know how much I love you and I suppose that will have to be enough for now.

     I've been keeping Granddad company and making sure he eats enough.  When you first went into the hospital for your back operation, he almost teared up just at the thought that you might not be able to walk after the surgery when he told me how much he missed even getting to walk around the store with you by his side.  I can't begin to imagine the twisting, hollow chasm he must feel in his chest even now at the prospect of losing you.

     The other night, he mentioned how the two of you used to eat saltine crackers with peanut butter sandwiched between them.  I wasn't hungry but I could tell he wanted to eat them so I ate crackers with him anyway.  We talked about you mostly.  We discussed how your recovery was going and how much color was in your face.  We talked about how much we looked forward to your coming home... how were we to know?

     When I first heard the news from my dad, I was visiting you at the time.  When I heard his voice, over my phone, I knew it was important.  I knew it was bad.  I quietly excused myself from the room and he told me just how bad.  I could hear the pain in his voice despite his attempts to conceal it.  He's having a much harder time of this than he'd ever admit to anyone.  I suppose in that he takes after you and granddad both.  As I hung up the phone, I sat down briefly to say a quiet prayer before rejoining you by your bedside.

     I never even had the chance to pray before Granddad came to catch me one-on-one to be certain that I'd heard the news.  I told him that my dad had just informed me and I hugged him tight.  He began to weep softly and I just hugged him.  There were no words.  No words could have hoped to convey a message strong enough anyway.  I put aside my own hurt and pains in order to be there for him... I got that from you, you know.  You have always been a shining example of how a woman can be strong and yet still be feminine.

     Later that afternoon, my mom called me to be sure that I knew the news.  She broke down into tears.  You and granddad have always been like a second set of parents to her and she always admired how loving you were and your willingness to take her in and welcome her, with open arms, into the family.  The truth is that everyone saw it.  You and granddad are two of the most loving people a person could meet.  Why is it, do you think, that even one of the waiters at the local Mexican restaurant came to visit you?

     I never told you this, but I can't convey just how much I wanted any girl I might find someday, to have had the chance to get to know you and granddad.  I wanted her, whomever she might be, to see what it is that I aspire to in a marriage.  ...What I aspire it to look like down the road and what I desire that it look like even from the beginning.  It is so rare for people to stay together these days and to do so for over 60 years and still to have the love the two of you have for one another is something more precious to me that you could ever imagine.  You have given me an example to follow and I can never thank you enough for that testimony alone.

     You know, I still remember the stories you used to read me growing up.  10 Little Puppies.  That was always my favorite to have you read.  My parents had stories I liked for them to read but that was the one I enjoyed most from you.

     Thank you, Grandmother.  I thank you and I am thankful for you.  Thank you for giving me that example of a Godly woman.  Thank you for believing in me even when it seemed like nobody else would.  Thank you for your love and kindness over the years.  I only hope that I can prove myself somehow worthy of it but I know, also, that I would never have to earn it.  Thank you for being there for me over the years, even when I was not always there for you and did not always fully appreciate it.  I love you Grandmother, and I'll keep praying that God will heal you as will people from around the world... you mean that much.  But no matter what, I hope you can know just how grateful I am to have had you as my grandmother and how thankful I am to have had so many wonderful years to spend with you!

     I love you, Grandmother!  Very, very, very, very, very much!

           - Matt

  • 4:51 AM
  • 333 Views
  • 30 eProps
  • 15 Comments