Saturday, 29 November 2008

• Significance: My Birthday Post

     As I thought about what I wanted for my birthday, I came to the quick realization that there is nothing much that anyone can give me that I lack.  It is not that I don't enjoy gifts.  I just don't really desire the kinds of gifts that people can give.  I suppose if someone truly wanted to 'give' me something that would actually make a difference, it would be to tell me how I have made a difference in their life... for them to encourage me by sharing evidence that I actually made an impact... that I actually had some significance or made some difference.  Not that I'm asking for this by any means!!!  No, that would take away from the meaning. 

     But I realized something anew tonight.  My family was gathered in light of my grandmother's state.  Both my brothers were in town and we left the hospital and had Thanksgiving leftovers at my parents' house.  One of my brothers shared how God has brought him through some difficult times and how he has been learning more and more to give to others first and trust God for the rest... some things I really needed to hear at the time.  My grandad told him he was proud of him.  My brother replied "Thankful for what?  Not making enough?"  The thought crossed my mind in that instand that he wasn't proud of him because of anything he had DONE.  He was proud of him because of who he IS and who he is becoming.  My brother knows this but seldom misses an opportunity for a little banter.

     But it got me to thinking.  As a Christian, I believe that my significance comes from God.  By myself, I am just another imperfect human who, due to my mistakes, deserves death and eternal seperation from God.  And yet, if He was willing to come to earth, live a perfect life, die on a cross to sacrifice Himself for me... What does that say about my worth?

     I admit, I struggle sometimes with this.  So often I want to try and do things to earn my significance and in my arrogance and pride see just how cool I am.  But it really isn't about that.  Life really isn't about that.  ...and anyone who has been gracious enough to follow my posts as of late must know that I've been thinking an awful lot about life.  ...and honestly, I wish that more of us would.

     So why do I do it?  And for that matter, why does God allow me to mess up so much?  It's simple.  God not only loves us enough to let us choose whether or not we want to spend eternity in His presence or in painful, lonely, seperation from Him... He also loves us enough to let us choose to do things our way or His in life... even if we belong to Him.

     So how does that work?  I mean, God knows just how imperfect I really am.  Why would He ever be proud to call me His own?  How is it that God would be proud of me?  It isn't because of anything I have done.  He loved me even before I asked Him for the forgivness He freely offers to all.  No, I don't have all the answers.  But I can only guess that in some way, He is proud to call me His own because of who I am... a creation of his that He made exactly the way He wanted.  I can't hope to fully explain or even understand it.  All I can hope to do is accept it.

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