Wednesday, 01 July 2009
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Dear Spambot
Dear Spambot,
I know you say that I am the most amazing person you have ever come across on Xanga, and that you believe it is a fate that you should come across my site in particular. I realize that you claim that it is a true wonder that you should come across my page and that you are from the metro that I have selected. You even tell me that I am super. ...And who could argue? After all, my screen name IS Legendaiy! I just have a few minor problems with the message that you sent me.
Please hear me out. I am not arguing, for I may very well be the most amazing person you have come across. (I'm not saying it's true... just that it's possible.) I will concede that point and give you the benefit of the doubt. My problem with you saying it, is that you say the same thing to everyone you come across, regardless of gender and, quite frankly, I have a problem with that. I mean, you really shouldn't lie to them the way that you do. It makes me wonder if you are truly sincere in your claims, regardelss of the truth behind them.
I will also concede that it may well be a fate that you have come across my site. Granted, you have, doubtless, been to every site around the block but how could you have known that there was one person out there that would actually respond to your advances? I realize you forgot to subscribe or 'friend' me, but I'm sure you'll see this because who would tell me how amazing I am and then NOT frequent my site. Never mind the fact that my footprints have been in the negative and you've yet to leave any legitimate comments... I'm sure those are all just oversites, right? ...after all, fate would never fall through, would it?
I must admit that I find a certain interesting paradox to your personality type. You say you are very shy and yet give me some link that presumably leads me to some spicier pictures you say that Xanga removed. I will also admit, however, that this concerns me and leads me to question your age because the only spicy pictures Xanga would actually remove to my knowlege are either ones that have a copyrite or those of minors that would be considered indecent to even the most depraved mind in the local penetentary.
Furthermore, as I read your message, I cannot help but notice what seems to be another contradiction. Perhaps you could clear it up for me. You say that you are from my area and yet the grammar with which your letter is written is comparable to the English of a small child in rural Mongolia. Now, I'm not saying that there are not small children in rural Mongolia that have perfectly good English. What I AM saying is that you are not one of them.
Having said all of this, I appologize if I have hurt your feelings but I simply am not looking to adopt at this time. You might try sending a message to Natalia though. I hear she just LOVES to take care of orphaned spambots. Also, do be careful. After all, one reading your letter would have thought you were trying to spark a relationship with me even though the evidence clearly indicates that you are simply in need of adoption. And no need to thank me for referring you to Natalia. I guess I'm just amazing that way. ...but then, you already knew that.
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Comments (24)
I found a picture of your secret admirer!
http://www.blogacause.com/blogacause/resources/cfalchemist/spambot.jpg
Don't you wonder how they find you sometimes?
"your letter is written is comparable to the English of a small child in rural Mongolia'"
hyperventilating from laughter!!!!
@ModernBunny - In YOUR case, I'm half tempted to click the link to see the rest of the joke... but do I dare? Hmmm....
@buckeyegirl31 - Nope. You see, I am a magnet for strange people. It runs in my family too. My dad was running one day and some random homless man came running at him from down the road shouting "You wanna play chicken!" No, I have no question at ALL how these people find me... the more FUN question is what to do with them WHEN they find you!
@YouTOme - My favorite part was probably the line after that one. "...not saying there aren't little children in rural Mongolia that have perfectly good English. I'm just saying you aren't one of them."
I got two like that from two different spammers. I think I'm gonna post the second one. It's the same as the first they just changed a couple of words. Why and who does this anyway? What is the purpose? I have to say, I don't get what they get out of it.
This is SO great.
hahahahahahahaha
@Legendairy - HAHAHHAAHAHHAHAA =) - comedic genius
@Pickwick12 - hahah. i know! =) matt doesn't post anything for ages, then he pulls this one out. nice work.
PRICELESSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
However, I do not believe you are amazing. Reason? You just love waking me up from my naps with your phone calls! Then again...I like bothering you when you're at work. I guess we're even.
Okay, you're somewhat amazing.
just stop waking me up from my dreams!
@UnworthyofHisgrace - I could have made more fun of it but I leave out details that might give them any REAL public recognition so that we can just all have a good laugh at their TYPE instead. We have all likely recieved a few of these at some point or another. So regardless of what THEY get out of it, I will have my fun... at thier expense if I have to... but hey, they gave me the material.
@TheSecretLifeOfPandas - They steal it from all the people who sit at the computer all day because they figure it won't be missed.
@Pickwick12 - Thank you!
@Kristenmomof3 - You laugh... but WHAT IF I were being serious? I'm not... but what if? hehe
@rhetorical_soul - Wake you up? Who goes to bed at 7:30 PM?
@Legendairy - ME! I was tired!
@Legendairy - I posted the whole private message I got.Go see if it's anything like what yours said. Since I've gotten two from two different spammers in the past few days...well at least their names were different, but the content was the same. It was basically word for word on both.
LOL. Cute, very cute
haha. this was awesome!
Wait a minute! She wrote to you too. I thought I was the only one. That spamslut!
I actually had two write me. Does that mean I'm more awesome then you?
@FogOfConfusion - No, it merely means that you attract psychos more. hehehe
@Legendairy - I got a third one this morning. Not only did I get a message, but it left the exact same message as a comment on my latest post. I deleted them both and now I'm thinking that I should have left the comment so you could have read it also.
@FogOfConfusion - I honestly wonder if most spammers are afraid of me. I have a rather unique method of dealing with them after all. hehehe
@Legendairy - The third one messaged me again and left a comment again. This time I didn't delete it so if you want to check it out. Does it say basically what your's said?
@Chemical_Bindings - Let's just say that turnabout is fair play hehe... Some refuse to wage a battle of wits with one who is unarmed. I don't always show such... 'restraint'. hehe